History is All You Left Me, by Adam Silvera
I read 'They Both Die at the End' - by Adam Silvera - a while ago, and I liked it a lot. It was one of very few titles to make it onto my list of 'Books that (nearly) made me cry' - (see Hamnet). So when I spotted this one in the library, I thought I'd give it a go. Would it live up to the heart-wrenchingly beautiful standard 'They Both Die at the End' had set? My verdict is... yeah, pretty much. It didn't wound me quite as deeply as 'They Both Die at the End,' which could have been something to do with the fact that I speed-read it in one day because it was due back at the library and therefore I didn't spend long enough falling in love with the characters, but I think chances are if you like other stuff by Adam Silvera, you'll like this. It was absolutely in his style, and it was good.
This book is about a teenage boy called Griffin, whose first love Theo has recently died in a tragic drowning accident. Even from that sentence-long summary, it should be clear that this book is brimming with Adam Silvera's signature tragic romance. The book follows the immediate aftermath of Theo's death, and how Griffin copes with it (or as it happens, doesn't cope), and it also takes us back in time to witness Griffin and Theo's love story. Overall it created quite a touching and poignant portrait of grief, and of young love tied in with that.
One thing I liked about the way this was written was how Silvera alternated the chapters. Griffin's main present-day narrative was interspersed with his and Theo's past. Having the two stories running simultaneously, and flicking between them, was quite a nice way of showing how after Theo's death, Theo is still very much a presence in Griffin's mind and in his life. As readers, it's almost like we're delving into Griffin's memories, memories of a time he can't let go of.
The second thing I thought was really effective was the way so much of the book was written addressed directly to Theo. Griffin's narrative voice was so often talking to Theo - the late Theo - as though he was still alive. '"Fine, I'll never die," you said as you hugged me. If there was a promise you were allowed to break, it wasn't that one.' Theo became this invisible character, this 'you', who was dead and yet was listening to everything that was going on in the story, was being confided in, was always there... but never replied. It was such a simple yet magical way of communicating Griffin's grief. Silvera made Theo present, by making him almost an implied reader, and creating this sense of a sentient Theo in a world where we know Theo is dead was pretty moving.
Griffin was quite a complicated character. His responses to Theo's death and his experiences of grief were not straightforward. And I thought this was a good thing. Silvera was not shying away from the fact that grief is complicated, and that teenage love is intense. Griffin is, of course, left bereft and very upset by Theo's loss, which was shown in the ways I mentioned above - the alternating chapters evoking his memories, and the second-person address still talking to Theo. But he is also struck with anxiety - Silvera showed this through the inclusion of OCD which got progressively more pronounced as the novel went on - and guilt, and jealousy, and a number of other more complex emotions.
All of these messy and vivid and conflicting feelings were explored through Griffin's relationships with the other characters, especially Theo's new boyfriend Jackson (Griffin and Theo had broken up shortly before Theo died) and with Griffin's schoolfriend Wade. These relationships were as messy and vivid and conflicting as Griffin's feelings, and it was a good way of showing the turmoil of bereavement, as well as highlighting the importance of true friendship. Although there was a lot of romance in this book, I do think there was an underlying message about the significance of platonic friends, which was really rather poignant.
The only thing I enjoyed less about this book was the fact that Griffin wasn't always a likeable character. To be honest, I don't think he was supposed to be - Silvera was showing us someone really struggling, at their very lowest point after their world has been destroyed, and I don't think it would be fair or indeed accurate to have imbued Griffin with only positive traits. But there were times when he took out his vengeance on innocent characters, and when he made some pretty bad decisions out of spite, and I wasn't hugely endeared to him in these moments.
My overall verdict is that this book was a touching and emotional portrayal of grief, which carried some good moral messages about friendship and about moving on after bereavement. It was well-written, with some interesting characters and relationships - so if you have enjoyed anything else by Adam Silvera, my guess would be you'll like this book.
Thank you for putting in to words the things I felt reading this book. It quickly became one of my favourite books after I read it, and I still think about it a lot. Most of the time, I long for a love like Griffin's towards Theo. I actually had a love like that when I was his age, and I just couldn't let go, so I thought that's what made me resonate so much with him.
I also really appreciated the sensitive portrayal of OCD and the way it progressed in the story as Griffin spirals into his loss. It broke my heart, but I also felt for him, and I also felt heard and seen and understood.
Adam Silvera has many interesting meditations on death, grief and the nature of life, and I've put down the book They both die at the end a long time ago, but I guess those meditations stayed with me and so will the ones in this book, and they will affect my decisions, hopefully for the better.
Thank you Shaun for your words here! Literature can be so powerful and resonant, thank you for sharing 😊